Twenty Holiday Tunes You’ll Never Want To Hear Again

For a certain type of music fan, the best kind of holiday music is bad holiday music.  I know, because I happen to be one of them.*  Don’t get me wrong, I love the old standards as much as the next guy, but nothing cuts through the the unrelenting sentimentality of the season like a beloved chestnut gone horribly wrong, or a botched attempt at a new classic.  In an over-connected, media-saturated world, it can be just the thing to cleanse the palate and help you stay sane between endless repetitions of “Wonderful Christmastime”.

We’ve already given you the gift of twenty great holiday tunes you’ve never heard, so now, please accept this lump of coal, a carefully curated collection of Christmas clunkers.  Ranging from the off-brand anti-charms of the Happy Hamsters and Happy the Christmas Clown, to the callow genre cash-ins of Torero Band’s Tijuana terror and Dubstep Christmas’ inessential wubs, and even a few choice selections from our nation’s shameful song-sharking past, there’s something here to offend the ears of even the most adventurous listener.  We think it’s perfect for a good laugh over some eggnog (or even just to clear everyone out after the eggnog is gone).

* In case you don’t believe me, I played guitar on this record.

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