Why Mike hates Shark Week.

What follows is an editorial, and does not reflect the opinions of Griffin Technology.  We think Shark Week is awesome. – Ed.

Every year, social networks are choked  with otherwise-intelligent people talking about how excited they are about Shark Week.  But, seriously, who actually likes sharks?  Sharks are hideously ugly prehistoric killing machines with cold, dead eyes and  mouths full of ridiculous teeth that they use to bite seals and surfers and seagulls.  Would I like to watch an hour-long program about sharks from time to time?  Of course I would.  Nature documentaries are my thing, man, and, I mean, come on, this is awesome.  But do sharks really merit a full week of programming?

You know what I’d like to see?  Ape Week.  Apes use sign language and tools and rollerskates!  You know what else?  Dog Week.  Dogs rescue people from burning buildings and hang their heads out of car windows!  Japan’s already got Bird Week, and Cat Week?  Don’t get me started!  Just show a week of kittens chasing a laser pointer.

All this said, Shark Week is not irredeemable.  Here are a few things that would make Shark Week a must see for me:

Swimming With The Sharks

Shark Attack!

“Sharks And Sailors”

Sharktopus

Feargal Sharkey

Jabberjaw

Now that’s what I call Shark Week! ^Mike

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  • will

    Great article!